Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
