So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
