I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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