My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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