She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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