Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
