All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i think i just lost a toe
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
