It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
