If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
