This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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