My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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