I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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