Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
