I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
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...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
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We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.