Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.

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(540): please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there. http://tfl.nu/5ny0

Replies (17) Good night (903) Bad night (3390)
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(561): View more from Florida

new revelation: five guys for breakfast

(561): View more from Florida

new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation

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(561): new revelation: five guys for breakfast (561): new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation http://tfl.nu/4ic9

Replies (24) Good night (3676) Bad night (1371)
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(434): View more from Virginia

At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

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(434): At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still http://tfl.nu/1pcd

Replies (9) Good night (1768) Bad night (3080)
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(916): View more from California

Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.

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(916): Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown. http://tfl.nu/0cdq

Replies (5) Good night (3554) Bad night (1342)
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(805): View more from California

You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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(805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6

Replies (7) Good night (1865) Bad night (3700)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on

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(814): I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on http://tfl.nu/jkd3

Replies (3) Good night (2995) Bad night (929)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

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(902): I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence. http://tfl.nu/pvbz

Replies (11) Good night (5476) Bad night (958)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.

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(404): Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent. http://tfl.nu/9bag

Replies (5) Good night (1314) Bad night (596)
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(415): View more from California

The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

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(415): The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco! http://tfl.nu/lulq

Replies (5) Good night (1563) Bad night (624)
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(303): View more from Colorado

He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago

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(303): He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago http://tfl.nu/p1nu

Replies (12) Good night (814) Bad night (1510)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you want to do any of that?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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(814): He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away. (1-814): Why did you want to do any of that? (814): If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them. http://tfl.nu/bo9q

Replies (4) Good night (1264) Bad night (765)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day

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(617): I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day http://tfl.nu/dw3u

Replies (0) Good night (828) Bad night (397)
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(602): View more from Arizona

My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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(602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj

Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (340)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.

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(701): If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted. http://tfl.nu/5qtj

Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (312)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today

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(250): dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today http://tfl.nu/mlhp

Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (205)

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