I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight