No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
