I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
