Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
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I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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