Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
