I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
