maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
