She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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