My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
