Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize