If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
the raccoons are back...
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