Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my phone needs a breathalizer
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
