do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
