Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
