How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
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I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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