Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
