Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
