I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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