Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
