Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize