I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
