First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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