I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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