We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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