I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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