maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
