Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
