I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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