i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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