Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
