i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
