Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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