"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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