Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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