I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
