so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
COCAINE IS GR8
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize