I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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