It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
