Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
