butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
