I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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