The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
