I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
