i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize