And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
