she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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