Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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