i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
