and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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