she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
