Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
no you cant smoke seaweed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
