Christians are straight up FREAKS
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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