I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
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Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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